Top Ten Derby Bout Themes

Roller derby has earned its reputation as being cutting edge. Why, then, are bout themes so painfully unoriginal? I’m the first to admit that Han Solo once gave me a lady boner, but Star Wars? Done. Ninjas? Pirates? Superheroes? Over. And if I see another zombie theme, I am going to feast on the brains of your lame ass bout producers.

So, if your league still insists on a bout theme, feel free to offer one of these fine suggestions:

10. Civil War Hospital

9. Juvenile Diabeatin’

8. Bring Your Own Tapeworm!

7. Kome as Your Favorite Kardashian

6. An Evening at the Nursing Home

5. Absolutely No Pants

4. Got Meth?

3. Gathering of the Juggalos

2. Lord of the (Cock) Rings: The Adventures of Dildo Baggins

1. A Visit From Aunt Flo

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