Top Ten...

Published on April 18th, 2013 | by Hale Yeah

Hale Yeah

Top Ten Myths about the Murillo 340 by Bonnie Thunders and OMG WTF

The full title is “Top Ten Myths about Bonnie Thunders’ and OMG WTF’s New Skate boot, the Murillo 340″ but it doesn’t fit on our frontpage.

10. The jet-pack undercarriage will not be available for at least the first year.

9. They were able to add the time travel function but it still needs to be powered by 1.21 gigawatts.

8. They come in sparkle colors to match your new helmet.

7. The skates give you a +3 saving throw vs. spells, and a +5 saving throw vs. dragon breath when worn.

6. Once laced up, they won’t become unlaced until you say the magic words “Blatherskite” (not “blatherskate”)

5. The “340” name indicates how many people you will be able to jump over when wearing them.

4. Secret pocket reveals a WFTDA rulebook that will automatically flip to the page you need to argue your point with refs.

3. Following a game, they transform into 4-inch heels for the after party OR the most comfortable sneakers …again for the after party.

2. Smell like lilacs even after a 4-hour grueling practice.

1. Will replace your favorite socks to go to sleep in.