Top Ten...

Published on July 29th, 2013 | by Hale Yeah

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Hale Yeah

Top Ten Ways to Deal with Not Going to Rollercon This Year

10. Go to a fallout bunker to avoid posts of those who are. Hope bunker has no wi-fi.

9. Just pretend it is all about a roller coaster convention…if you love roller coasters, see #10.

8. Just imagine everyone is going to Las Vegas after what happened in Stephen King’s “The Stand.” Think about planning a trip to Boulder instead.

7. Go to derby practice, get black and blue, and pretend everywhere you go is a ball.

6. Pretend it’s all a diabolical plot to have skaters skip a week of workouts while you continue to tear it up for your next bout.

5. Believe it is actually a diabolical plot by police nationwide to get skaters to pay outstanding parking tickets - and you’re not going to fall for that one, oh no way, no how!

4. Drink, hide money all around your house, and watch the Rollercon bouts on DNN. When you wake up, if you can remember where you hid all the money - you’re a big winner!!! If you can’t remember, well, take it in stride …take it in stride…

3. Go to your local community center and do some volunteer work. Try not to alienate the other volunteers by breaking down in crying jags every 15 minutes about not being in Vegas.

2. Go to work dressed in your derby best or a bathing suit. Ask your boss if you can get comped for lunch at the office cafeteria for “staying” at your office.

1. Start planning on going to Rollercon 2014. NOW.

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Hale Yeah

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