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Much has been written for the new or intermediate skaters out there in derby land. But what about those of us who have been doing this so long we remember practices without helmets and the original WFTDA rule set? Well, this is for you, Grandma. I am also old and therefore qualified to tell you what to do!

Read You Suck, Ref! Part 1, or Part 2.

One of the things I notice often in derby is the neglect of properly hydrating during practice and bouts. The intensity of the game tends to reduce the time for and the thought of hydrating the body.

“No sweat” means “ it’s good,” right? Not always the case--when exercising in hot, humid weather, it means danger. Sweating can be a social problem, but it is a life-saving process for you on the track.

The core temperature of your body is maintained in a narrow range (about 97℉ - 100℉) in a wide variety of environments. This is necessary because at too low a temperature, bodily functions slow down and cease. At too high temperatures, the body essentially cooks.

To this day, I love the old Roadrunner cartoons. Poor Wile E. Coyote. His wonderful, fundamentally flawed plans always ended with him falling off a cliff, blowing up, or falling off a cliff and then blowing up. With the money he spent on giant crossbows and earthquake pills from the Acme Company, he could have just ordered take-out roadrunner from the nearest diner, but damn it if he didn’t keep plugging away…but I digress.

There’s something about derby that skews my perception of reality in favor of the extreme. Every time I walk into the rink I feel like I’m waging an epic battle in which we mere humans don our armor and morph into gladiators - larger than life and hungry for war. Yet the fall that screwed up my PCL was not epic. There were no screaming crowds or brawling foes. I couldn’t even really tell you what happened. I fell, and when I stood up something wasn’t right. I removed my skates and walked off the floor without fanfare.

TK-Oh! – South Bend Roller Girls

I'm pretty sure the long and arduous road to mastery not only begins with a single step, but also the sensation you are going to hoarf weapons-grade chunks in the general direction of any bystanders unfortunate enough to be—well, bystanding.

I've been nervous about writing this article (more nervous than I usually am!). Putting it off and fretting about word choice. Now I feel I can alleviate some of that, as well as avoid a tad bit of hate mail by attaching the following disclaimer: I am not the voice/poster child for religion, or religious people. I am not the voice/poster child of Jews, Judaism, or any other faith/belief system. Nor am I the voice/poster child for rollergirls.

Recently, I had cause to update my referee résumé. In the past 12 months, I reffed 65 full-length bouts under the WFTDA rule set. On average, that’s about one bout every 5.6 days, along with who knows how many scrimmages and a handful of short challenge bouts. The bouts featured teams from 45 different WFTDA leagues and took me from one end of the U.S. to the other.

Almost from the very first time you strap on your skates and gear and start to train for derby, people will tell you that you ought to be cross training. But with that directive comes a myriad of questions. Which kinds of exercises should I really being doing for cross training? How often? Why should I even bother? What should I be doing with my team? To help answer those questions and more I sat down with a couple of skaters whose faces you may recognize from DVD’s in your own cross training routine: