Columns

If you’re planning to have a baby or just found out you’re “great with child” (thanks, JFM!) or if you’ve just popped the little bun out of the oven, here are some pointers to help you figure out your process on returning to competitive derby play and finding your new role in life as a Derby Mom.

This column provides a general overview of Roller Derby medical problems and their initial treatment, and it is not intended for advice for an individual. Therefore, you must consult appropriate medical professionals for advice in treating any injury or medical problem that you specifically have. This manual is not intended to be a complete or final guide to medical treatment of anyone's individual medical injury or problem.

Since I started playing roller derby four years ago, I’ve been on dozens of trips for derby—some where I travel to a different town, and some where I travel to a different state or even a different country. And no matter where I go, I’m always so thrilled to meet the skaters, refs, support staff, and fans. I have felt universally welcomed by these skater sisters (and brothers) across the world, and have made some of my best friends through the sport.

So it's six in the morning and i am painting my porch. Six in the morning seems like a pretty dumb time to do anything, really, but painting a porch is clearly an early morning activity of dumbness above and beyond the call of duty. I'm painting my porch at 6 AM because my washer used to leak, and my washer is in the kitchen ((isn't everyone's?)), so now some of the tile looks yucky 'cause it got all leaked upon and so forth.

I can already tell you that this post is not turning out as I had originally planned.

Monday November 8th, I returned from 4 days in Chicago where the Gotham Girls All-Stars competed in the WFTDA 2010 National Championships. It's the big tournament for all the marbles. After all the regional playoff tournaments, the top 12 teams in the country (actually, in the world) compete for first place, bragging rights and a big-ass (also very HEAVY) trophy- The Hydra.

This column provides a general overview of Roller Derby medical problems and their initial treatment, and it is not intended for advice for an individual. Therefore, you must consult appropriate medical professionals for advice in treating any injury or medical problem that you specifically have. This manual is not intended to be a complete or final guide to medical treatment of anyone's individual medical injury or problem.

Editor’s Note: Australian skater, derby superfan and now independent filmmaker Penergy! took time out from her busy production schedule on the set of her new film, Star Cross’d Jammers, to share her thoughts and lessons learned during the process. Enjoy this page from her production diary!

So there you are, on the bench. You've had your safety check, you've screamed with your teammates in the change room. You've made sure your panties aren't showing under your Derby Skinz. You've gone over the strategy. You're ready.

There are some things I know nothing about. Two of them are what it's like to raise a person with another adult in the house, and deciding what I'm going to do with my free time. Straight up, readers. I pulled this article out of my ass. I think I was supposed to write something about parenting and roller derby. I have a lot of things I could say about that, but fundamentally, what I want to tell you is that if you combine the two you will never, ever have time to do anything properly ever. Everyone will get the fuzzy end of the lollipop at some point.

All my friends are dead.

I love to see “fresh meat” start their first day of practice.

Whether junior or adult the emotions seem the same- giddy with anticipation, wary, shy, a bit starstruck, and everything in between. I’ve only been playing a little over a year, and am far from an aficionado on anything, but when I watch them wobble around the track nervously, I always wish I could tell them one thing: It’s not going to be what you are expecting.

It will be different, harder, better, but nothing like what you’ve seen or read about.