Funtimes!

By Hale Yeah

10. I love wearing pants!

9. I was going to attend the Rose City v Denver bout, but I heard about this great buffet just down the strip!

8. Sure they have Team Riedell vs Team Antik, but where is Team Inline?

7. Forget this derby nonsense - Celine Dion in concert, here we come!

6. I have to go back to my room for a jacket, I have this terrible bruise I don't want to show anyone.

5. Because its hot in Las Vegas, I made sure not to pack any black shirts.

By Hale Yeah

10. Teflon Panties 9. Suzy Icy-Hot Rod 8. Frida Egg Beaters 7. Joy Collision Insurance 6. Olivia Shootin' Porta-Johns 5. De-Free-Ranged Chicken Nuggets 4. Bonnie Thunder Sticks 3. Urrk'n Beef Jerky 2. SoulfearicAcid Wash Jeans 1. Bork Bork Sporks

by Trigger Mortis, Assassination City Roller Derby

The best thing about these tacos (besides the yumminess) is that they are salt and butter free, so you can happily swish your sassy butt around practice, knowing you didn't add any cellulite to it this morning.

or: 40 mouths to feed with 8 crockpots, a broiler, and a mountain of brownies by Rigor Morticia (photos courtesy of She-Wrex, Bill Rhodes, and Rigor Morticia)

Here at Derbylife, we're very pro-dog. Em Dash got a puppy in October, and Mercy Less just adopted a puppy in the last week! We've met a lot of great derby dogs in our day, and this is a fun contest meant to celebrate all the fabulous dogs of derby. (Don't worry, cat lovers, we'll get to you next!)

We've gotten a ton of submissions, and have barely been able to keep up with them all, so we've closed submissions. We'll get the voting up within the next week. Check back for voting later!

To start us off, here's one of Em Dash and Schlitz of Gotham Girls Roller Derby:

By Maul E. Mayhem #666

1.) Waking up with barely faded permanent marker on my biceps can be covered with sleeved shirt

VS.

Waking up fully clothed in bed (or fully naked somewhere inappropriate) with a suicidal feeling of guilt and regret that can’t be covered with *anything*

2.) You just had the derby night of your life, great people, etc. and you are jonesing for MORE but realize it's Monday and it's time for work, reality, school whatever… blah.

VS.

A new fun internet rabbit hole for your Hump Day! If you're any kind of a fan of the Ryan Gosling "Hey Girl..." meme, please to enjoy Hey Girl...Roller Derby!

Dear Auntie Terror,

I keep spending all my beer money on wheels, many of which I don't like, and it's having an impact on my pub time.

Can you give me an “idiot’s guide” to wheels? No matter how many times the specs are explained to me, I just can't remember what’s slick/grippy/narrow/small etc.

Thanks,

Not As Drunk As I Want To Be

Dear Not as Drunk,