A Few Things To Remember

1. You will be amazed (and possibly horrified) by how quickly your requirements for butt-coverings change. If you had told me two years ago that I would be totally comfortable wearing small, glittery pants in public and cavorting around on skates like a madwoman, I would have laughed in your face. But glitter is fun! And boom-boom shorts don't get in the way when you're skating! And the next thing you know you've replaced all your khakis with derby skinz and your boyfriend/girlfriend/dog is begging you to put on anything with a zipper before you go to the grocery store. It's a slippery slope. You probably still have to wear pants to work.

2. Everyone has told you to get good knee pads. Everyone is right. You can get used to bulky knee pads, but you can't get used to knees that bend in the wrong direction, so put your money where your mouth is and buy the best knee pads you can afford, even if, at this moment, they kind of get in the way while you're skating. You will get used to that.

3. Everything will get easier from here on out. No matter how much you hate a drill, every time you do it, it will get easier. If you put in the effort, you will only get faster/stronger/smarter/taller. Okay, you probably won't get taller. But you will get all of those other things. Drop your ass, push yourself, and pay attention. You can all get there, but you have to get yourselves there.

4. Roller derby is not like Whip It. You are not Ellen Page.

5. Get low.

6. Occasionally, you will have a bad practice for no reason. You ate right, you drank lots of water, your skates are set up just the way you like them, you stretched everything twice, and you still feel like you're skating through wet cement. It happens. Push through it, chalk it up to demon possession or any of that Ghost Adventures BS, and know that next time (or the time after that) will be better.

7. Watching roller derby will make you a better roller derby player. It's just science.

8. This will be fun. It will also be hard. If it is not both of those things, you're doing something wrong.

9. Finally, ask questions, borrow gear, and fall down. A lot.