I'm Not Dead Yet: Fiber Is Your Friend

I'm Not Dead Yet is DerbyLife's section of commisery and advice from the ranks of the current derby injured. Got a story to share? [email protected] Reprinted with permission from the autor's blog, Kate On Skates

Let me start by warning you all that I am in no way an expert on anything, a medical professional, or qualified in any way to diagnose, treat, or prescribe anything. I'm just going on personal experience, raw passion, and the facts that my Nurse/Nutritionist mother drills into my head. Do what I suggest, or don't do it, I don't really care...so, yeah, no lawsuits. Nutrition facts from Lou Ann Binkley of Your Lifestyle Matters: Personal Nutrition Coaching.

Also, though Curse and Morgs are most definitely working their way through migraines from all of the eye-rolling this subject matter will produce in them...I'm still going to go there!!

I don't need to remind anyone that derby is awesome, but know what's not awesome? Feeling all gross and sluggish during a bout or practice because you thought it a brilliant idea to eat a bag of salt & vinegar chips beforehand to give you energy. BAD!!! You're not going to make it, dummy!!!

Any athlete knows you need to balance out your diet with some hearty combos of carbs, protein, veggies, fruits, blah, blah, blah...you get it. In my (limited, though spirited) experience, the most important part of maintaining my on and off track health, and featured in my many attempts at "athlete gruel", is adding in a great big rough batch of F-I-B-E-R. Fiber is one of the most exquisitely awesome tools to use to get your body to do what it needs to do! This is why...

Now you've got this ridiculously long practice looming ahead of you, you think, "CARBS! They give me energy!!" Good for you, you know stuff. But here's the thing...if you go grabbing some standard refined carbs (ie; white pasta, potatoes, white rice), your pancreas is going to hate you for making it work too hard producing ridiculous amounts of insulin and you're going to hate yourself for slowing down and crashing halfway through.

Refined carbs turn into some hot burning glucose and insulin floods your system pushing that glucose around all fast and furious-like trying to keep your body fueled at the same pace in which you're pushing it. Once it's burned up, you peter out...(and you get yelled at for being a pansy, and you start making lame-ass excuses as to why you can't get your shit together, and nobody likes you anymore...yeah, it's a nightmare!)

Bring on the sweet, sweet fiber! High fiber carbs (quinoa, sweet potatoes, beans, GRUEL, etc.) actually slows that burning process down to a nice even roast. Your energy burn stays steady and consistent and could possibly power you through 3+ hours of practice or even an entire bout, plus the after-party dancing, plus your streaking through downtown after last-call. (Hell, who wouldn't want to make it to streaking hour!??) Get it?

Supreme source of practice fuel: Here's a picture of the fiber-intense soup I made this weekend, that I've decided to call "SHIT STORM!" It contains chick peas, black beans, lentils, edamame, green beans, onion, carrot, jicama, cabbage, peas, peppers, kale, and some other random veggies that were in my fridge...veggie broth and V8 base, and some random assortment of spices.

"Hey! What about me, I'm injured and can't play right now?! blah, blah, whine, blah!"

So the derby roulette wheel spun in your favor and you got to be the one to rake the track with your face/arm/leg, etc. (or, as in my case, have the track reach up and twist your foot around backward!). Well crap, now there's going to be a lot of sitting going on. How can you stay derby ready while you're so busy healing bones and feeling sorry for yourself? (And I can't stress this enough!!) Eat some damn fiber!

If you are sitting around, drowning your injury woes in refined carbs, know what's going to happen? You'll heal your bones, but have a giant ass left over as a souvenir! When those carbs turn to glucose and that insulin comes flooding in, you'll burn off only what you need to sit there and breathe, but the rest of it needs to go somewhere...hey, how about some love handles!

High fiber carbs will burn slowly, providing the energy needed, and then happily make their gloriously undignified exit. And we all know what that means! (Why do people get all squirmy and embarrassed in regards to shitting....we all know we all do it, and we all know how incredible we feel when a proper one's been done!) You'll maintain or possibly lose weight and keep your body glowing and flowing so when you can get back to moving normally, you'll not have to worry about maneuvering added bulk around on skates. Brilliant, right!?!?

A little side note...you're really going to want to get this fiber down if/when your doctor prescribes you some hefty pain meds. Those things are a bitch on your colon, and the last thing you want is to be writhing in post surgical pain and have your abdomen all cramped up with constipation.

Here's a list of fiber-heavy foods to assist you in energy and/or weight maintenance and poop excellence:

Fruits: Avocado, Pears, Apples, Strawberries, Blueberries, Raspberries

Veggies: Broccoli, Spinach, Kale, Cabbage, Asparagus, Brussels Sprouts, Peas, Carrots

Grains/Other: Quinoa, Brown rice, Lentils, Beans of many kinds, some whole grain breads.

A little thing to keep in mind: this whole thing works especially well if you try to keep overall carbs low. You don't necessarily want to just replace your breads and grains with high fiber ones, you want to replace a large portion of them with vegetables and beans, etc. Also, my personal rule is to not eat breads/grains with less than 3g of fiber. (But of course there are splurges...it happens. Mmmm...beer.)

If you run into me and I ask about the status of your colon, don't be offended, just be happy that I care about your health!!