Gorilla Hater!

by em dash February 2, 2012 - 6:03pm

This gorilla toy is totally not a fan.

But it's apparently a product. One you can buy. At Sears.

So I ask myself...what is the market for this? Angry derby widows buy it for their derby-orphaned kids? Skaters' non-derby friends bring it to the hospital to cheer them up after they break their legs in a bout? Does this make sense to anyone? Why does this exist?

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Comments

Submitted by Kyllr Kervs on February 3, 2012 - 5:22am

They also have mugs, key chains, other animals ect, and I hate stuff for other sports, maybe they think their ironic?

Submitted by Calvin Ball on February 3, 2012 - 11:26am

"The human foot, and the height of the medial arch are indeed better optimized for bipedal standing than those of apes, further suggesting that their current state is to some extent the product of positive selection for enhanced bipedal standing during the evolution of the foot."

- Analysis of the Human and Ape Foot During Bipedal Standing With Implications for the Evolution of the Foot, W.J. Wang and R.H. Crompton, Journal of Biomechanics, February 2004

In other words...

... you'd hate derby too if you couldn't find any skates that fit your low arches.

Submitted by cruel whip on February 3, 2012 - 12:13pm

you can tell from the product photos that these aren't even real items. someone just slapped some text of the basic image and it often doesn't all fit on the t-shirt. can you believe that's someone's job? "here, you make an i 'i hate x' image for every noun in existence." and why the hell don't they just market it as a custom item instead of displaying these tens of thousands of items.

so weird...

in any case, i hate shopzeus. so there.

Submitted by Mercy Less on February 3, 2012 - 1:19pm

I think one of our ex-husbands works at Sears now. Show of hands from all the ladies who've logged a divorce since starting derby? ;)

Submitted by Shakin on February 3, 2012 - 1:24pm

I don't get it.
http://www.ebay.com/itm/Allergic-Roller-Derby-Contestants-Sports-T-Shirt...

Submitted by em dash on February 3, 2012 - 2:16pm

Could be a protest against stinky pads? But still, "contestants"? What is this, a game show?

Submitted by Duncan Disorderly on February 3, 2012 - 4:05pm

You mean I'm not going to win a speedboat? BOOOOOO

Submitted by lady quebeaum on February 3, 2012 - 1:57pm

Ok, look. We've all done it. In a fit of frustration we've all Googled "I hate roller derby." Maybe even with extra exclaimation points, which is the only way I can think of how someone found this.